Tks, Thanks, Thank You
The workplace is ever changing, and time puts people in their place. So can you still be that friendly colleague if your teammate is getting a promotion to be your new boss? Sometimes it’s hard to see your counterpart rise in the corporate ladder and become your manager, and it’s often because you think they aren’t capable for the position. For those in their original position, jealousy and envy aside, getting used to a new management style is difficult. For to-be managers, new responsibilities and tasks aside, getting people to respect you isn’t exactly a piece of cake either…but the dust will settle and everything will be okay again I promise. The process just might not be a bed of roses for either party, but at the end of the day it was worth it for me.
Several months ago my counterparts in the US proposed that we implement a new emailing system, and our CEO approved after a few rounds of internal negotiations. My colleague Marcel volunteered to be responsible for a lot of the communication between teams that were involved with the new mailing system, familiarizing with the system, and its overall implementation. It was a daunting task that the rest of us were happy to not be responsible for. Estelle, another close colleague of mine, joked that he might’ve wanted a promotion so bad which is why he’s volunteering for all this work. Well, turns out her joke wasn’t that much of a joke, but an ultimate reality.
My direct manager is someone who’s very hands on and overlooks every detail. The upside is that she’s very clear with what she wants, the downside is that there’s less autonomy. Marcel on the other hand, like many managers, give subordinates a direction instead of clear instructions. Bridging this gap was not easy for any of us. The reason why we’re in a good place now is because Marcel persisted and pulled through along with the support of my direct manager, and we gradually recognized Marcel’s effort and contribution.
Support from upper management is crucial
I’ll admit I didn’t want Marcel to be my manager at first, and it had little to do with jealousy because he was much more senior than me, and I had no interest in being a manger. Marcel, like the rest of us, had trouble controlling his temper sometimes when he communicated with difficult people. My direct manager, on the other hand, could always quietly hold her fury and find common ground. She kept us on track. Her attention to detail was also incredibly high especially in analytics, and overall her capabilities earned our respect. However, I felt that everything that Marcel could do, so could I. So why should I listen to him? I had little confidence that he was capable of the job, and my first reaction upon hearing about his promotion was fear.
I didn’t want to take any of Marcel’s advice during the first few weeks of his promotion. He was also just starting to test the waters with his newly acquired authority so he often messaged me directly about tasks instead of talking about them in our team’s group. I would would forward all his messages to the group and make my rebuttal there. I would remember every mistake he made and highlight them during meetings. I wanted my direct manager to see that he couldn’t do the job and our team would be a mess under his leadership.
I stopped these petty tactics once I discovered that my direct manager would back up Marcel no matter what mistake he made. She needed someone to take some management tasks off her plate so she could focus on other priorities, and so far the person most fit for the job was Marcel whether we liked it or not. Once I learned this truth, I knew that continuing to go against this decision would be a foolish thing to do, so I stopped and tried to cooperate with Marcel. Support from upper management is crucial in any organization changes.
Persist and continue providing value even if there are people against you
Even though I had decided to cooperate with Marcel, I still didn’t respect him. I was also getting used to his management style. I observed the differences between how he would communicate and how my direct manager would. We would end up in heated conversations about how his communication style made tasks harder than they needed to be for me.
My opposition to his leadership obviously dampened both of our spirits, but we kept on with our tasks as usual. I started to see the additional value he provided that I wouldn’t be able to when he started teaching us how to use the new emailing system, and that was when he gradually earned my respect. That was when my “tks” started to become “thanks” in messages.
Some things just take time
I heard from Estelle that Marcel gave a previous colleague hell, ten times worse than mine, when that colleague became manager. I guess he took a dose of his own medicine from me, and so will I one day.
Marcel made mistakes during the first month on the management job, and some more after that, but he started to become keener on details and saved me several times. I started to wonder whether my opposition was necessary. Being against Marcel wasn’t a happy experience for me, and I was exhausted from resisting his leadership. It started to seem to me that Marcel was proving his worth, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to keep undermining him.
Not being on the same team eventually came back to bite me in the ass when I discovered that Marcel would be less willing to communicate with me if I was constantly protesting him. I mean, it makes sense, I wouldn’t want to talk to me if I were in his shoes. This resulted in lack of communication, sometimes he would proceed with things himself instead of asking me to. This created a recognition gap and resulted in problems. So I finally gave in and fully accepted his leadership. Turns out that things can work better when we’re on the same team, even if it took several months for us to be aligned.
Tks becomes Thanks becomes Thank you becomes actual respect when you persevere despite obstacles. Managers become managers because most of them have overcome what others can’t.
