Backstabbed At Work? Here’s one Way To Deal
Getting back stabbed is almost an inevitable incident at work that it’s almost like a milestone everyone reaches at some point of their career. Congrats on getting backstabbed! One down, probably there are some more to come. So how do you deal with backstabbing? Well, there’s definitely more than one way to deal with it. Here’s a little story of mine and how I dealt with backstabbing worked out just fine.
People backstab people for all sorts of reasons — jealousy, resentment, self gain, pick your poison. In my case it was probably pure resentment. Tyson and I often had our differences at work. It was probably because of company culture or his job ranking that almost no one argued with him or made an effort to counter his ways even when they thought there could be a better solution. That’s why after multiple times of slightly heated discussions, Tyson secretly decided that I wasn’t a team player, built resentment towards me, and kept a mental note to backstab me when he got the chance.
The backstabbing started to happen when Tyson heard from me, in person, during a meeting that I was to be transferred to another department. This was a position that I desperately wanted at the time and could better fulfill my aspirations in my career as a Marketer. The moment Tyson heard, to him, was like shark smelling blood. I was naïve to think it was a good idea to tell him, although to my superiors my transfer was as good as a done deal.
Early that following week I received a meeting request from a senior superior of my future department, saying it was work related. I had a gut feeling that this wasn’t going to be good news and I sure was right. The senior manager wasted no time and cut to the chase, saying, “We’ve received a lengthy email from one of your counterparts saying that you often fail to meet deadlines, you are not a team player, and you rarely meet requirements. This concerns us greatly and we would like to hear your piece before we make a final decision on your transfer. Although you may already know from this info who wrote the email to us, we would prefer that you don’t confront him with this issue.”
I was surprised at the amount of anger I felt, it was close to minimal, because a part of me wasn’t at all surprised that Tyson would do something like this. So I began to say my piece, “First of all, the definition of not being a team player might mean to Tyson as not always agreeing with him like everyone else always does. All our discussions are recorded via email and online forums, you could check them out and make a decision for yourself whether or not I am merely trying to be difficult or that I am trying to do what I think is best for our team. Secondly, if Tyson rarely gives me anything on time, how could he expect me to meet deadlines? The schedule is often given to him two weeks prior. I find it interesting that he failed to mention that and also the delays on which he gives us materials on his side so we can proceed. As for failing to meet requirements, how could he expect us to make all the major changes when we already allowed change once, modified the whole thing as he requested, and then two days prior to the launch date he suddenly has 10 more modifications to make? I really can’t help but feel attacked and targeted because the things he’s mentioning occurred not only on my side but also on my fellow team members. As I mentioned earlier, our discussions are recorded. You could check them out for reference.”
The supervisor ended up deciding to give me a three month “off the record probation”, saying that I could still transfer but he would keep his eye on me. He said he was surprised that someone like Tyson who he had known for a long time would go out of his way to write a whole email about someone.
I kept my head down and did my work for the following three months. After the “off record probation” I was finally allowed to do some tasks that I transferred for. These tasks made my presence even more visible than before, and I knew Tyson saw. Every time I think about this fact I get that rush of satisfaction all over again, because my successful transfer and exposure is proof that his efforts were in vain, I shone through, and his influence can only go so far despite his seniority.
That’s how I dealt with the backstabbing of Tyson, using my actions and achievements to show him how pathetic and useless his endeavors were. Tyson’s job ranking is at least 3 rankings higher than me, so in hindsight, I’m not really sure whether I should be flattered that someone who is so much more senior than me would spend so much effort to backstab me. To this day, I am unsure of whether Tyson even thought the backstabbing through because if he succeeded, that would mean that I would not transfer and I would have to stay in my original team which meant that we would have to continue to work together. If he resented me so much, shouldn’t he be happy to see me go? Wouldn’t it make more sense if he couldn’t wait to get rid of me faster? I wouldn’t say it was smart.
If you’re backstabbed or disrespected in any scenario, it doesn’t need to be in the workplace, keep your cool and figure out how to react. Stick to the facts and plan your next move carefully. There is no correct response, there is only the response that will get you where you want to go and that’s what you need to figure out. Good luck:)
